Table of Contents
- Why Personalized Messages Matter
- 1. Humanizing the Online Experience
- 2. Building Trust & Rapport
- 3. Encouraging Deeper Participation
- 4. Spotting Potential Issues Early
- Types of DMs That Drive Engagement
- Strategic Timing: When to Send DMs
- Best Practices for One-on-One Engagement in Skool
- 1. Keep It Personal, But Professional
- 2. Aim for Clarity
- 3. Respect Boundaries
- 4. Use Skool’s Features to Your Advantage
- 5. Automate What You Can (But Don’t Sound Robotic)
- How Personalized Member Outreach Boosts Retention
- Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them
- Case Study: Increasing Retention Through DMs
- Scenario
- Approach
- Results
- 5 DM Templates and Examples
- Welcome Message
- Progress Check-In
- Event Invitation
- Feedback Request
- Re-Engagement
- FAQs on Using DMs for Community Engagement
- 1. How many DMs should I send per week?
- 2. Can I automate personalized outreach without sounding impersonal?
- 3. What if members don’t reply?
- 4. How do I avoid coming across as too salesy in my DMs?
- 5. Is it okay to ask for testimonials or case studies via DM?
- 6. What’s the best way to handle negative feedback?
- Next Steps

Do not index
Do not index
The simplest way to describe using DMs for community engagement is this: personal outreach can make the difference between a passive audience and a thriving, loyal community. When you reach out to members individually—answering questions, offering support, or just checking in—you create a sense of belonging that group posts alone can’t match. These one-on-one connections go a long way in increasing retention through DMs and ensuring your Skool members remain active participants.
In this post, we’ll explore the power of personalized member outreach and show you how a thoughtful message here and there can strengthen relationships, boost participation, and reinforce your Skool community culture. Whether you’re welcoming new members or reconnecting with longtime participants, we’ll outline proven strategies, best practices, and simple templates for one-on-one engagement in Skool.
Want to see how personal touchpoints can boost community loyalty? Join Ryan’s FREE community and experience firsthand how a few well-placed DMs can skyrocket member satisfaction and engagement.
Why Personalized Messages Matter
1. Humanizing the Online Experience
In a world saturated with group chats and forum threads, one-on-one communication cuts through the noise. A direct message signals you’ve noticed a member and value their presence. This recognition is a powerful motivator for active participation.
2. Building Trust & Rapport
Trust is the backbone of any community. Personalized outreach is one of the fastest ways to establish trust, especially with newer members who may feel uncertain about posting publicly.
Quick Tip: Use a friendly, conversational tone in your DMs. For instance, try opening with, “Hey [Name], I noticed your recent post about [Topic]. How’s that project going?”
3. Encouraging Deeper Participation
People are more likely to join discussions, attend live calls, or share insights when they feel a direct connection with the community leader. Personalized messages help members see you as approachable, making them more comfortable asking questions or offering feedback.
4. Spotting Potential Issues Early
By proactively reaching out, you can identify challenges or frustrations members might not feel comfortable airing publicly. Addressing these issues early prevents larger problems and shows that you genuinely care about member well-being.
Types of DMs That Drive Engagement
- Welcome Messages
- Purpose: Set the tone and help newcomers feel at home.
- Key Elements: Personal greeting, brief community overview, links to essential resources.
- Progress Check-Ins
- Purpose: Ensure members stay on track with their goals.
- Key Elements: Encouragement, a quick question about how they’re doing, and an invitation to share wins or obstacles in the group.
- Event or Content Invitations
- Purpose: Directly invite members to an upcoming live call, Q&A, or new course module.
- Key Elements: Specific event details, a personalized reason they’d benefit, and a clear next step (link to registration or event info).
- Feedback Requests
- Purpose: Gather insights on what members enjoy or wish to improve.
- Key Elements: Simple questions about their experiences, a sincere request for suggestions, and a note of appreciation.
- Milestone Celebrations
- Purpose: Highlight achievements, whether it’s a new certification, a major sales milestone, or completing a community challenge.
- Key Elements: Congratulatory tone, acknowledgment of the accomplishment, and encouragement to share in the group.
Remember: Different DMs serve different purposes. Don’t spam your members with the same generic message. Tailor each note to the member’s journey and context.
Strategic Timing: When to Send DMs
Your outreach strategy can make or break your community’s vibe. Here are key moments to consider:
- New Member Onboarding
- Time Frame: Within the first 24-48 hours of joining.
- Why It Works: It sets a welcoming tone and helps new members find their footing quickly.
- Post-Milestone Checkpoints
- Time Frame: After members complete a certain module or achieve a community goal (e.g., finishing a course unit).
- Why It Works: Reinforces positive behavior and keeps the momentum going.
- Inactivity Triggers
- Time Frame: 7-14 days of no activity.
- Why It Works: A quick check-in can remind members why they joined, often reigniting their engagement.
- Post-Event Follow-Up
- Time Frame: 24-48 hours after a live session or Q&A.
- Why It Works: Keeping the conversation going post-event helps solidify learnings and deepen connections.
- Seasonal or Thematic Check-Ins
- Time Frame: Around holidays or relevant industry events.
- Why It Works: Personal messages tied to events can feel timely and thoughtful, making them more memorable.
Best Practices for One-on-One Engagement in Skool
1. Keep It Personal, But Professional
Use the member’s name and reference their specific goals or past contributions. This shows you’ve done your homework. Keep the tone friendly but avoid overly casual language if it doesn’t align with your community’s brand.
2. Aim for Clarity
Long, rambling messages can be off-putting. Be direct about why you’re reaching out—whether it’s to welcome them, check on their progress, or gather feedback. Encourage a response with a clear question or CTA (call-to-action).
3. Respect Boundaries
Everyone’s comfort level is different. If someone doesn’t reply or appears uninterested, avoid bombarding them with repeated DMs. Focus on building a relationship gently over time.
4. Use Skool’s Features to Your Advantage
Skool’s private messaging system is designed for user-friendly navigation. Make sure to:
- Customize Notification Settings: Encourage members to enable DM notifications.
- Tag or Link to Relevant Resources: E.g., “Here’s a link to the Q&A thread you might find helpful.”
5. Automate What You Can (But Don’t Sound Robotic)
Leverage Skool’s capabilities to set up automated welcome messages or weekly check-ins. However, add personal touches to each message (like referencing a recent post the member wrote) to avoid a copy-paste feel.
Pro Tip: Keep a simple spreadsheet or notes on each member’s interests, goals, and last interaction. It makes personalizing your outreach a breeze.
How Personalized Member Outreach Boosts Retention
The crux of increasing retention through DMs lies in emotional connection. When members feel seen and understood on a one-on-one level, they’re more inclined to stay active. Here’s why:
- Sense of Belonging
- A direct message breaks down barriers and makes a large community feel more intimate. Members who feel like they’re “on the inside” are less likely to leave.
- Accountability
- Personalized messages often encourage members to follow through on goals. When someone knows they’ll be asked about their progress, they’re more motivated to engage.
- Conflict Resolution
- Misunderstandings or personal issues can be quickly diffused in private conversations. You can keep negativity from spilling into public threads, preserving a positive communal atmosphere.
- Upsell Opportunities
- Building trust via DMs paves the way for introducing higher-tier offers, courses, or membership upgrades. When you approach members privately with solutions that fit their needs, they’re more receptive.
Key Takeaway: One-on-one engagement in Skool strengthens the fabric of your community, reducing churn while nurturing a dedicated core of enthusiastic members.
Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them
Even the best intentions can go awry. Here are some traps to watch out for:
Pitfall | How to Avoid |
Over-Automation | Balance efficiency with a personal touch. Always edit automated messages to include a unique detail or reference. |
Generic or Irrelevant Conversations | Tailor your outreach to each member’s interests. Reference specific posts, comments, or milestones. |
Excessive Frequency | Don’t overwhelm members with daily pings. Spread out your DMs, aiming for genuine value each time you send one. |
Salesy Tone | Pitching your paid offers in every private chat can feel spammy. Prioritize relationship-building first. |
Ignoring Feedback | If members share concerns in DMs, address them promptly. Failing to do so undermines trust and engagement. |
Remember: Effective DM outreach is a balance of empathy, strategy, and authenticity.
Case Study: Increasing Retention Through DMs
Let’s look at a hypothetical example to see these strategies in action.
Scenario
- Community Type: A Skool group dedicated to freelance graphic designers.
- Challenge: Many members joined but quickly lost interest. The churn rate was rising, and engagement was dropping.
Approach
- Implementation of New Member Outreach
- Automated welcome DMs were customized with personal touches (“I saw your intro—exciting that you specialize in brand identity!”).
- These messages included a link to a pinned resource post on “10 Tips for Building a Solid Client Portfolio.”
- Mid-Milestone Check-Ins
- After two weeks, admins sent personal DMs to members who had completed at least one community module. The messages asked how they were applying the lessons and invited them to share a quick win in the main forum.
- Re-Engagement Strategy
- Members who went inactive for over two weeks received a friendly nudge: “Hey, we haven’t seen you around lately—how’s everything going?”
- They were also invited to a live monthly Q&A session.
Results
- 30% Drop in Churn within three months: Fewer members left after receiving one-on-one check-ins.
- Spike in Forum Posts: Members who received personalized DMs were 2x more likely to create new threads or comment on existing ones.
- Increased Trust: Feedback revealed members felt “supported,” which made them more comfortable asking questions and contributing their expertise.
Lesson: Consistent, thoughtful DMs can act as a linchpin for retaining members and creating a more active, collaborative space.
5 DM Templates and Examples
Below are simple templates to get you started. Adjust the tone and details to suit your community’s culture.
Welcome Message
Subject: Welcome to [Community Name]!
Message Body:
Hey [Name],
So happy you’ve joined us! I noticed in your profile that you’re interested in [Topic/Interest]. You might love our [Resource/Post Link] to kick things off.
Can’t wait to see your contributions! Let me know if there’s anything I can help with.
– [Your Name]
Progress Check-In
Subject: How’s Your Journey So Far?
Message Body:
Hi [Name],
I saw you recently completed [Module Name]. How’s it going? Is there anything you’re stuck on or any wins you’d like to share?
Feel free to reply here or post in the group—I’m sure others would love to celebrate or help!
– [Your Name]
Event Invitation
Subject: Exclusive Invite: [Event Name]
Message Body:
Hello [Name],
We’re hosting a live Q&A on [Date/Time], focusing on [Specific Topic]. I remember you mentioning [Related Topic/Challenge], so this could be really helpful.
Here’s the event link: [Link].
Hope to see you there!
– [Your Name]
Feedback Request
Subject: Your Thoughts Matter, [Name]
Message Body:
Hey [Name],
We’ve been refining our community experience and I’d love your input. What do you feel is working well, and what could we do better?
No rush—just reply whenever you get a chance. Your feedback helps shape future improvements.
– [Your Name]
Re-Engagement
Subject: Missed You in the Community
Message Body:
Hi [Name],
We haven’t seen you around for a while—just wanted to check in. How are things going? Anything new or exciting you’d like to share?
We’ve had some great discussions lately, especially on [Discussion Topic Link]. Would love to hear your thoughts!
– [Your Name]
Pro Tip: Always include a question or call-to-action. Open loops encourage replies and start meaningful conversations.
FAQs on Using DMs for Community Engagement
1. How many DMs should I send per week?
There’s no hard rule. It depends on your community size and capacity. Larger groups might need more automation. As a starting point, aim for 3-5 targeted DMs a week, balancing new member outreach, check-ins, and follow-ups.
2. Can I automate personalized outreach without sounding impersonal?
Yes, if done carefully. Use Skool’s tools or other platforms to trigger messages based on member actions (e.g., signing up or completing a module). Always include a variable or personal note like referencing a specific post or interest.
3. What if members don’t reply?
Not everyone will respond. Don’t take it personally. Some people prefer to observe quietly. Consistently offer value and respect their boundaries. Many members read DMs even if they don’t respond.
4. How do I avoid coming across as too salesy in my DMs?
Lead with genuine interest. Make the conversation about them, not your offers. If you mention a product or service, frame it as a helpful resource rather than a pitch.
5. Is it okay to ask for testimonials or case studies via DM?
Yes—if the member has shown success or expressed appreciation. Be polite and transparent about how their testimonial will be used, and always respect their decision if they decline.
6. What’s the best way to handle negative feedback?
Address concerns calmly and privately. Thank them for sharing. Ask clarifying questions to fully understand the issue. Suggest solutions or changes if possible, and follow up to see if the problem is resolved.
Next Steps
Using DMs for community engagement is a powerful, often underutilized strategy. Whether you’re sending out welcome messages, requesting feedback, or re-engaging inactive members, personal outreach can transform one-time visitors into dedicated community advocates. By focusing on one-on-one engagement in Skool, you foster connections that drive not only increasing retention through DMs but also overall community health and growth.
Ready to supercharge your Skool group with genuine connections?Join Ryan’s FREE community to learn more about effective DMs, share your own successes, and watch member satisfaction soar.
Written by























